In an effort to make you pay even more for your coffee, workers at Starbucks are finally beginning to unionize. I am assuming this breed of the Purple-Hair Gang has just found out what a union is because this is the least shocking news of all time. You are telling me that the 28-year olds who whip up Pink Drinks for a living need a union? What for? Talking about who did the most Peyote over the weekend and their love for AOC? Nonsense.
I like my coffee how I like my women, cheap. I order my coffee black because I need the closest thing to Cocaine there is and I still spend $4.23 on a Venti. These freaks like Jordan pictured above are the reason that my coffee will start to cost $5.00.
Credit to Howard Schultz for going into his toolbox and hiring a Chief Strategy Officer that has dedicated his career to, “empowering frontline employees to unlock their full potential in work and life” (Union Murderer). Employees are looking for higher wages and to, ” advocate for a larger voice in company operations.” If it were up to these people, they would open at 11AM and close at 1PM. Hey Jordan, shut up and pour me my cup of joe. I am sorry your degree in Lesbian Dance Theory did not pan out the way you expected.
This mixed in with the fact that no one wants to work these jobs to begin with is a recipe for disaster for $SBUX. My local Starbucks was closing at 1PM because they could not staff their store for months. This would never happen at Dunkin’.
Dunkin’ employees used to give the Starbucks employees swirlies in high school. Albeit, I would rather drink my own toilet water than getting a Large Iced Black from Dunks.
Just like that I am long Keurig $KDP.
Stay Poor People, especially you Jordan
Standardly Poor 